My school life has come to an end. And it was truly the most tragic and cruel end that can happen to anyone’s school life. No! Wait. It can happen only to me. The chronicles of my school leaving year as well as the last 12 years of my life, shall be stored safely in the strongest vault of my memory, which will be opened, only if humankind comes to the brink of extinction, or if I have my own grandchildren.

Before beginning, let me make my intentions clear. Through this blogpost, I wish to find some sort of a pattern in which the people around me have been behaving in recent times. I wish to gather the clues in front of me, and come to a reasonable solution, to all the things that still trouble me inside.

For a Science student under the Indian education system, there is no provision for a moment of peace. Firstly, you’re studying for your class tests. Then you’re studying for your pre-board exams. Immediately after that you’re studying for your Board exams. And just when you think things are over and you deserve to heave a sigh of relief, the ‘competitive’ exams rush to you and pinch your nose until you’re blue. Some important people in West Bengal want you to die. So they postpone the WBJEE (West Bengal Joint Entrance Examinations) by a month. You pass out. When you regain consciousness, you realize that you’re results are just around the corner. Your lungs stop functioning. You hold on dearly to the little life that is left in you. One such morning, when you’re almost dead, the results are declared. You make one last attempt to keep your soul inside you with a heavy gulp when you’ve entered your roll number on the website. The page loads forever. It’s like the webpage has been personally crafted by one of the devil’s minions in Hell-dom. You can feel it coming.

You’re alive. You don’t know whether you should smile or cry. Facebook Notifications (0) Mail Inbox (0) SMS (0) Missed Calls (0). All your friends seem to have gone extinct.

You look at your rank once again. Count the number of digits once again. Check the name and roll number once again. You pinch yourself. It does hurt.

“So THAT is my future, is it?”

And suddenly you can see it all in front of your eyes – where you’re going and what you’re doing.

Next thing you know the cacophony of SMS beeps and phone calls commence. There are two types of conversations that can happen next. Notice the irony.

Type 1 [For someone who scored more than you]
“Hi! What is your rank???”
“Ohk. That’s really good. Congrats! Mine is horrible yaar! Reaaly!”
“How much?”
“Oh… come on! That is wonderful! Congrats!”

Type 2 [For someone who scored lesser than you]
“Hi! What is your rank???”
“Wow! Awesome yaar! Congrats!”
“Thank you! Whats yours?”
“Naah! Its bad.”
“yet… how much?”
“Not good yaar! Its not good at all”
“Just tell me nah”
*No reply*

Parents, on the other hand, gain access to a fool-proof ranking of their sibling amongst his/her peers. Anyone who has scored lesser than their son is a bad boy. All the others are really good. They go to the extent of advising their sons about which friends he should stay in contact with.

You learn a lot about your own friends too. You get to differentiate between your true friends and the other exploiting class. True friends will miss you. And you will know it.

The most painful aspect of this time between school and college is the separation of paths. Your closest friends – friends with whom you’ve spent the last 12 years of your life – friends with whom you’ve shared your lunch boxes – friends with whom you’ve been punished outside class – friends with whom you’ve laughed – friends with whom you’ve cried – friends with whom you’ve walked home, hand in hand. There is a pain which can’t be described. It is like the little pinch you felt in your heart at all those moments when your friend waved you good-bye and walked into a different lane while returning home from school. It’s just that the pain we feel now, is greater and takes a longer time to be subdued.

Somewhere deep inside our hearts, there is a civil strife between Destiny and Love. Our Destiny has already been written. There is nothing that can change it now. It is just that Love fails to understand the obstinate character of Destiny. And Destiny fails to explain its helplessness to Love. Both want to co-exist together, but Life has other plans.