Calvin & Hobbes

Calvin & Hobbes

An Interview With - Who? [Part 1]

Yes, An interview with me, myself – The Xeno. Kindly put on your hyperbole-prevention-helmets (HPH).

X X X X X X X X X X X X X Part 1 X X X X X X X X X X X X X

After being rejected several times, finally, on 24th Of March, the heavens blessed me the chance of a lifetime. My appointment request for a face-to-face interview with The Xeno was confirmed.
That morning, was probably the most important day of my life as I made my way through the large iron gates of The Xenoic Villa. I felt like an ant, walking through the cobbled-stone pathway littered with autumn leaves and patterned by the shadow of the sunlight glinting through the overhead arch formed by the branches of aspen trees flanking me. Soon enough, the trees and the garden made way to show me the most spectacular view of the mansion.

I Feel Like: 

Amazing Mind Trick

This is TRULY one trick which made me feel like an asinine macrocephalus (as i have said i am not on the sidebar). This is a really cool cool cool trick which i am sharing with you.

Okay Now follow the instructions carefully or this wont work. Be honest.

See if you are a lateral thinker.

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15 Penultimate Requirements for Studying - Part A

I should tell you about the way I study. But please don't even attempt to follow it. High risk factors involved.

1. Activity - The room must be void of any Human life/activity.

2. Auricular Disturbance - The room should be perfectly soundproof. I don't care if it makes me claustrophobic. But there shouldn't be any external audible interference which disturbs my otic sensitivity to point 3.

3. Auricular Satisfaction - Music is a must. The genre varies according to the subject. Math requires pure hard rock. Chemistry needs trance/techno. Physics demands soft acoustics or instrumentals. Computer Science needs hip-hop. The only exception to this law is English. Music and English study don't go together.(so you can presume which is the only subject I like paying 100% attention to!)

I Feel Like: 

Just The Feeling I Still Have

The following is an excerpt from my diary dated 2nd February, 2011.
And the feeling still remains, although the chill has gone away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Another chilly winter morning. I stepped out of the door once, just to take in a whiff of the polluted air outside. But a dry cold breeze ushered me back inside. Almost instantly, my nose tingled…


And the tip of my nose turned into a pinkish red, just like the blush of any shy girl.

No actually it didn’t. Just the “Achoo” part occured.

Nevertheless, I returned to my room, concealed myself below a blanket and blinked at the physics book open in front of me. Yes physics was my weakest subject and i do not blame anyone for that. But why me? I mean, i could have been a genius in science! I could have cracked the IIT and ISI while half-asleep.

But that was not written on my forehead.

Instead some other bull-shit story about a stupid guy with stupid failures appeared in italicized  print. I really think God should have thought twice. A guy like me wasn’t such a bad bargain after all.

Let’s see if he continues with his bull-shit story or finally brings in a new dimension in my life like a breath of fresh air inside an air-tight furnace burning rubber tires.

I Feel Like: 

Take The First Step - Earth Hour 2011

3.21 am.

It was one of those nights when I had woken up before my alarm. Irritated by the fact that I could have slept for 9 more precious minutes, I wanted to investigate the cause.

There was some kind of a weird repetitive ‘shwish-and-hum’ noise coming from the road. I dragged myself to the verandah to investigate. I was welcomed into the night outside with a fresh moist breeze and the same weird noise; louder this time.

I wasn’t surprised to see the source of all that noise. A group of people, a heavy compactor, and a large tar-stained container, were working hard to mend all the potholes. The men were armed with stonechip-filled shovels and grime on their arms. The large container billowed thick black smoke as it burned the tar and charcoal inside. Following the broad trail of the smoke, my eyes met the pearl white moon transfixed in the middle of the night sky.

Another cold gust of wind caressed through my unkempt hair and made me shiver. At once, something wonderful happened. I felt at one with the world. Everything seemed non-existent; The veranda, the street lamps connected with a jumble of wires, the packed rows of houses springing up from every bit of empty land, and the road being repaired. And I thought to myself, ‘Is this where it all ends? Is this what our ancestors had imagined the future would be? Is this progress of technology? Is this advancement of mankind? Is this the 21st century? Is this my earth? Is this me?

There was no answer.

I Feel Like: 

Now Is The Time

It’s weird how time passes by us like a stealthy ninja, all the while, stealing everything that we have with us. It is like an experienced thief as it skillfully pick-pockets everything. Sometimes it even manages to take away the things which we have always held close to our heart. And today for the first time in my life, I am scared that it will take away my heart too. I am afraid that if i do not act soon enough, it will surely take away things which are irreplaceable and are of penultimate importance in my life. It will cordon off my dreams and push me towards the common-folk whom i have despised all my life.

The fantasy world in which i was living was mercilessly shattered to pieces and i was given a bitter bitter taste of reality. And i realized that i was living in a world of hypnopompic delusions based on fake superficies like…

“Oh that won’t happen to me.”
“I dont think that is possible.”
“This wont affect me.”
“That cant be the answer.”
“Bad happens, but this time it wont.”

But it took me some time. And i fear that after all is over, i might suddenly realize that whatever i had realized was not what i was supposed to.

I Feel Like: 

My Self Demolition

I can’t feel myself at all.

I’m just numb all over.

The journey from big to small,

runs through my memory, this october.


Life departs, and starts again.

But never ever complete.

People die in restless pain,

The forgotten sarcophagus will deplete.


Hopes lost, and dreams suppressed,

I can only weave mystic words.

How can we leave feelings unexpressed?

When we want to fly with the birds!

I Feel Like: 

Renovation - A New Look

I think its time for a change.
8 days. 8 posts. 23 unique visitors. 1 follower. 2 comments.

And now I think that what my blog needs is a better theme with more readability, minimalistic design, lesser page loading time, but should look like a handsome blog too.

So after browsing through thousands of templates, I managed to make a shortlist. Incidentally, the two templates which I like the most, belonged to my previous blogs ‘Reaching4sky’ and ‘Kafkaesque Theories Of A Jobbernowl’. So lets see which template impresses me the most. I would have thrown this situation out to 
my readers as a poll itself but then again, I don’t have many readers.

But my blog has grown up. 8 days old! Now after the template change, you can automatically assume that there will be better blogposts in the near future.

I Feel Like: 

Early Morning Technical Romance

It was a dark night; definitely darker and more exciting than the one just after your marriage. There were only the two living souls in the otherwise empty room- A Computer, and a BSNL Modem Router.

There was love in the air as the two love bugs felt that uneasy closeness which made them blush. Even the mosquitoes hurried into their dark corners with popcorn buckets shouting,"Hurry up! The show is just about to start!"
And so it did.

The UPS charged itself up. The CPU started its romantic hum as the black screen of the monitor faded away to display a warm welcome. The Modem blinked in anticipation.

The saga of eternal peripheral love started. First the power button on the modem gleamed a bright yellow color. Then the ‘Status’ indicator flickered to life. And then finally the USB light sparkled in the dark room. It was a mystic love affair, far from the understanding of a human brain.

I Feel Like: 

What have you done for your thumbs up?

Honestly speaking, I was mighty impressed by Akshay Kumar and his pursuit of a thumbs up bottle; that too, a 300ml one.

Just watch the advert. He does a action-packed sequence of chasing down a thumbs up bottle and often ends up winning a cold-drink as well as a hot chick. Cool, huh?

Girls these days aren’t impressed so easily. I suppose if a sensible girl catches a guy running after a thumbs up truck, she would surely think, “What a freak!”

I Feel Like: 

What Happens Is: Not That it Matters

I remember all those 'good old days' and nights which were so wonderful just because of the presence of one person in my life. And i've never been successful in finding the proper words and adjectives to express clearly my feelings about here.

She was special. Definitely way more special than many others. Not that i ever thought that i loved her; the 'true love' sort of thing. But neither is it that i never wondered whether i loved her. I did.

There were times we used to play 'truth or dare' every midnight via chat. She used to participate equally and i did give her weird dares to perform. And somewhere within my heart i knew that she followed it. She used to give me quite imaginative, well-thought dares, which i couldn't couldn't couldn't help but perform. For example, wearing my t-shirt inside-out to tuition classes, jumping in front of the entire class shouting Yahoo, or even writing silly paper chits and passing on to my most hated enemy. I did it all. There was something so weirdly fascinating about our relationship, which i could never explain. But i will try slowly to do just that, through my blog posts.

I Feel Like: 

Gaga Saves The Day

The earth shook, and the heavens fell apart. Light shone from amidst the deep black clouds upon the tired soldiers with their big fat chemistry books. And suddenly it started raining question papers. They fell from the sky and created a small whirlwind which threatened to turn into a ruthless hurricane. The soldiers dropped their chemistry books and ran for cover. Who could have thought, that the heavens would send upon them such a deadly weapon of mass destruction. This unprecedented catastrophe stole every tiny bit of courage, hope and sun-screen (SPF 60) that was left in the soldiers, and poisoned them with despondency.
There was complete panic at the Chief Strategic Headquarters of the W.H.A.C.K.O. (World Heavily Armed Commando to Kill Opposition). Only two men at the C.D/D.V.D (Central Decisive and Directorate of Vulnerable Decisions) knew that they would have to pass the penultimate verdict which would decide the fate of the universe in this war between heaven and earth. They knew that they would have to take the call. So with tears in their eyes, and cartons of red-bull on the stand-by, they decided to sort it out the intelligent fool-proof way.

“Stone, Paper, SCISSORS!” they shouted bravely.
 And the Fate of the Universe was decided.

I Feel Like: 

Two Of A Modern-Kind

There is often little or no doubt about the fact that all things that have life, can feel and give love. From pre-historic dinosaurs to slimy snakes; from giant sperm-whales to the red and white koi fish in your neighbor’s plush backyard garden artificial fountain-cum-waterfall with the statue of the naked baby with wings peeing at you and smiling mischievously as if to say, “Yeah man! It goes on and on and on…”

There was a time humans loved each other too. But now its all about the external aspects of it.

Men love girls. Yes that remains the same except the fact that the criteria of eligibility has changed. Women now have false eyelids, extra-black ‘kaajal’, coloured locks, lips glittered with the shiniest of hues available, tops with attitude-show-off statements, skirts which seem to be a cheap tailor’s mistake, stilettos which can be used as sewing needles, and an inexplicable thought-process with the on-your-face stance. Of course all that makes it quite enjoyable for the men, and they look extra-sexy when they put on a traditional Indian saree all of a sudden! Despite all that, men still love girls, and the initial attraction takes place at a more external level.

I Feel Like: 

Hello World and Hi Cutie!

Halfway through the examinations, I finally made up my mind that I needed to start a serious blog now. I know it’s a weird decision for someone to take in between his Class 12 CBSE final examinations, but that’s just me. So after “Reaching For Sky”, “Kafkaesque Theories of A Jobbernowl”, “This and That”, I finally took the decision.

And ‘Sarcasti-Nation’ was born on 10th March, 2010.

I kinda liked the name despite being haunted by a phantasmagoria of webcam-view images about people puckering up their faces as if to say, “Eh? Sarcasti-Nation? Weird!” But you’re right. The name is just a mash-up of the two words ‘Sarcasm’ and ‘Nation’.

‘Sarcasm’ because that’s my style;
‘Nation’ because I dunno why!

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