The earth shook, and the heavens fell apart. Light shone from amidst the deep black clouds upon the tired soldiers with their big fat chemistry books. And suddenly it started raining question papers. They fell from the sky and created a small whirlwind which threatened to turn into a ruthless hurricane. The soldiers dropped their chemistry books and ran for cover. Who could have thought, that the heavens would send upon them such a deadly weapon of mass destruction. This unprecedented catastrophe stole every tiny bit of courage, hope and sun-screen (SPF 60) that was left in the soldiers, and poisoned them with despondency.

There was complete panic at the Chief Strategic Headquarters of the W.H.A.C.K.O. (World Heavily Armed Commando to Kill Opposition). Only two men at the C.D/D.V.D (Central Decisive and Directorate of Vulnerable Decisions) knew that they would have to pass the penultimate verdict which would decide the fate of the universe in this war between heaven and earth. They knew that they would have to take the call. So with tears in their eyes, and cartons of red-bull on the stand-by, they decided to sort it out the intelligent fool-proof way.

Immediately Action Plan Z was initiated. There were red lights blinking, beaming, flickering, glittering, shining, rotating, scanning, winking, and doing everything other than glowing normally all around the place. People ran about here and there in frantic search of something to do. Little children wept in the playhouse, old women searched for their teeth under the tables, girlfriends typed their boyfriends’ numbers on their iPhones.  It was a total ruckus as the world went down, and no one had the slightest of Idea what plan Z was.

Only one man did.

But then again no one knew who that man was and I suppose even the man himself wasn’t aware that he knew.

In the mean while Coyote had just received his shipment of Acme products. He eagerly tore off the wrappers and was very disappointed to find that his order had been misunderstood. People have forgotten the traditional wolf language these days; so much for culture and heritage he thought as he took the Giant egg and threw it off the edge of the cliff. And things happened so fast that it embarrassed Usain Bolt himself.

The large white egg cracked open (rather smashed open) and out came Lady Gaga! She started singing “oh baby I was Born This Way”. And it worked. There was some heavy feedback from the jumbo speakers and soon enough, a deep voice from atop the clouds boomed, “Ah! Stop this shit man!”

And at once, everyone knew it was working. This was the legendary plan Z.

Katy Perry, Beyonce, Rihanna, Shakira, Madonna, Britney, Fergie and Justin Beiber all arrived in their skimpy clothes to join Lady Gaga. There was a huge mash-up of phrases and tunes like ‘California Girls are’, ‘Single Ladies’, ’Baby Baby oooh!’, ’Waka Waka eh eh’, ‘Glamorous’, ‘Touch my body’ and more. Everyone was present. Eminem, Dr. Drake, Jay-Z, Kid Cudi, Edward Maya, Armin Van Burren, Paul Oakenfold, David Guetta, Will.I.Am, and others including Lars Ulricht, Flea, Bono, Mike Shinoda. Infact, some cameraman from Aaj-Tak News also found a group of bathroom singers within the crowd of celebrities.

So what happens next?

I haven’t got the slightest tiny-winy-miny bit of idea cuz I woke up.

P.S.: yes I actually did! :p